No method anywhere can show you how to facilitate a resolution for ALL meeting conflicts.

Sometimes, people or parties refuse to agree simply because they dislike each other. Yet while you may not be able to resolve all meeting conflicts, you can learn to manage all meeting conflicts. Below you will find four proven activities for managing conflicts in any group session or workshop.

Meeting conflicts present a serious distraction. Wisely, the International Association of Facilitators (IAF) aspires for facilitators to:

•    “Help individuals identify and review underlying assumptions.

•    Recognize conflict and its role within group learning/maturity.

•    Provide a safe environment for conflict to surface.

•    Manage disruptive group behavior.

•    Support the group through the resolution of conflict.”

Four Proven Activities For Managing Meeting Conflicts

Fortunately, you can rely on this four-step method to manage ALL meeting conflicts:

1.    Document consensual purpose.

2.    Secure evidence in support of the purpose.

3.    Align with the level of support for the objectives of the product, project, program, department, business unit, and enterprise.

4.    Assemble documentation, then escalate.

I.  Document consensual purpose

The burden on facilitators demands building consensus around the purpose of the decision and what the decision supports. You cannot afford to have a moving target if you want to build consensus. Make your group’s integrated purpose clear and concise. Use our Purpose Tool as a quick and effective means of galvanizing consensual purpose. When captured in writing, you supply instant visual feedback to all of your participants.

2.  Secure evidence in support of the purpose

Most office professionals have been exposed to the concept of active listening. Distinguished from passive listening because active listening demands that the listener provide reflection and confirmation of what the speaker said. Reflecting the reasons to support the statement and WHY the evidence to support the purpose remains more important. Frequently understanding WHY requires additional challenge and reflection. Other participants may hear WHAT was said but they also need to understand WHY the claim was made, and under what conditions the claim remains valid.

Effective facilitators make participants’ thinking visible by challenging them with one word—“Because?” Consensus is not built around symptoms. Rather, consensus gets established around causes. Getting everyone to understand under what conditions certain claims may be valid can ease misunderstanding. Sometimes people are in violent agreement with each other but are doing a poor job of listening. A good facilitator provides robust reflection, not only on what was said but under what conditions the assertions hold true. Fortify your active listening with a comprehensive reflection of BOTH what was said and why it was said.

Active listening includes four separate activities:

1. Establish contact with the speaker, eye contact ensures the speaker is engaged,
2. Absorb what the speaker presents so that you can advance the group’s understanding of the participant’s contribution,
3. Reflect on what was said to ensure the speaker understands what was offered up, but more importantly, REFLECT WHY their contribution claims to be valid as it relates to the question they were answering (frequently it is best to provide their reflection in writing whether on a whiteboard, large Post-It^® paper, or on the screen), and
4. Confirm that their content, as reflected, is complete and correct.

Meeting participants do not necessarily listen or even hear what other participants say. Some people fail to listen to themselves. Reflection provides an essential part of effective, active listening. But do not forget to confirm that your reflections are clear, complete, and correct.

3.  Align with the level of support for the objectives of the product, project, program, department, business unit, and enterprise

Sometimes people understand each other and yet continue to disagree. Most arguments about future conditions cannot be proven one way or another. Learn to appeal to the objectives of the project or initiative your meeting supports. If needed, go further and appeal to the organizational values, as to which argument better harmonizes and supports the organization.

After two or more competing arguments have been clarified, and fully documented, ask the group to compare the positions by asking them to what extent each supports the organizational objectives; specifically:

• Project or product: To what extent does each position support the overall project (or product) objectives?
• Program or department: To what extent does each position support the program (or departmental) objectives (i.e., the reasons for approving the project or product)?
• Business unit: To what extent does each position support the business unit objectives (i.e., what would the executive sponsor say)?
• Enterprise or organization: To what extent does each position support the enterprise objectives (i.e., what would the chief executive officer say)?

In some company cultures, for example, safety is critical, and if one position can be viewed as ‘riskier,’ it loses. If necessary, look at the argument from the perspective of the executive sponsors or even the enterprise. If the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) attended the meeting, what would they say, and more importantly, WHY?

Appealing to objectives reconciles some disagreements, but not all of them. Use our holarchy to present a visual illustration of harmonizing objectives (available as a poster at https://mgrush.com/shop/product-category/posters/).

4.  Assemble documentation, then escalate

Sometimes participants do not agree with each other based on irrational or irreconcilable terms. When the three steps above, in sequence, do not drive consensual resolution, prepare to escalate. Take the documented positions back to the executive sponsor, product owner, steering team, decision review board, or other authority for their decision.

First, carefully and fully document both positions (arguments) with their supporting claims, evidence, and examples. Then take the conflict off-line, back to the executive sponsor. Explain the method you followed above and provide them with a set of documentation. Tell them the group has reached an impasse and needs their help. Ask them to decide. More importantly, capture their rationale so that their reasons can be brought back to team members and fortify them to be more effective in subsequent decision-making situations.

Executives will also Appeal to Objectives, asking questions like:

• Why did we approve this product, project, or initiative?
• What were we trying to accomplish?
• How does this initiative serve as a foundation for our strategy and future planning?

Executive sponsors, product owners, steering teams, decision review boards, and other authorities supply better insight than team members because the authorities are more intimate with plans, shaping curves, and transitional and transformational efforts underway designed to ensure that your organization reaches its vision. When they share their understanding with you and your group, you empower your group to make higher-quality decisions in future meetings. No facilitator can build consensus around every issue, but having a method to follow provides the assurance that you have done your best.

Don’t Run

Meeting conflicts reflect emotions that, when harnessed, enable innovative change. A facilitator sees conflict in a workshop as coming from the group and coming from within. We must understand our own internal conflict so that we can better serve others. A meeting without conflict is a boring meeting, and we’ve seen truly little value derived from predictable and unexciting meetings, sessions, and workshops.

Internal Conflict

Internal conflict drives fear. All people possess fears. When we allow these fears to control us, we lose our ability to perform. First, we must understand our fears. Once we do, then we can control them. Fears never go away—you simply learn to control your fears.

Once you identify your personal fears, you can find ways to make them work to your advantage. Adrenaline gives you an edge. Remember that the butterflies in your stomach will always be there. You don’t want to remove them. You want to teach them to fly in formation.

Summary

Resolving conflict begins by understanding, clarifying, and confirming the purpose of the object of discussion and argument. When that appeal fails, active listening coupled with extensive challenges will structure the discussion. Appeals are determined by the extent to which the purpose and objectives will be supported by the decision, especially the product, project, departmental, program, business unit, and enterprise objectives.

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Don’t ruin your career by hosting bad meetings. Sign up for a workshop or send this to someone who should. MGRUSH workshops focus on meeting design and practice. Each person practices tools, methods, and activities daily during the week. Therefore, while some call this immersion, we call it the road to building high-value facilitation skills.

Our workshops also provide a superb way to earn up to 40 SEUs from the Scrum Alliance, 40 CDUs from IIBA, 40 Continuous Learning Points (CLPs) based on Federal Acquisition Certification Continuous Professional Learning Requirements using Training and Education activities, 40 Professional Development Units (PDUs) from SAVE International, as well as 4.0 CEUs for other professions. (See workshop and Reference Manual descriptions for details.)

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In conclusion, we dare you to embrace the will, wisdom, and activities that amplify a facilitative leader. #facilitationtraining #MEETING DESIGN