A problem person causes a meeting distraction. Their message is ineffective because some characteristic gets in the way of communicating clearly. Always empower your participants, but learn to control challenging personality types to avoid problems in meetings.

First of all, the deliverable or decision is theirs, not yours. Therefore, manage politics by removing ideas from the individual participant and turning them over to the entire group. Because it’s not WHO is right, but rather WHAT is right that we seek. All ideas belong to all participants—never to an individual. While ‘Ground Rules’ help mitigate some behavior, firmer action is required for select individuals. As a result, difficult participants known to cause problem meetings are discussed below.

Politikos” — Nature of the Problem Person

The term ‘Politikos’ means ‘the science of people. You deal more ably with participants as you gain more experience. However, there is a certain degree of comfort in recognizing that there are some common patterns of behavior that are likely to occur. Keep one thing in mind, however; participants cause problems only for a certain time. Often a participant causing a problem becomes productive in a different situation. Never label a person permanently as a problem person.

Firm But Flexible, How to Manage Personality Types in Problem Meetings

You identify participants displaying problems because they generally disrupt the session. Sometimes, however, they don’t participate. When you have a problem person in a meeting, their contribution remains unclear because some characteristic gets in the way of communication. To deal with the people on the ends of the curve (i.e., the outliers), assume that people have good intentions and focus your energy on discovering what is causing the difficulty.  In other words, identify the problem—do not highlight the problem person (or, person with the problem).

Difficult Meeting Participants, problem meetings

Problems in Meetings and Difficult Participants

People Principles to Remember

Following are guiding principles for dealing with people (all based on “Treat others as you wish to be treated”):

  • Never embarrass people, especially in public. People . . .
    • are creative if asked.
    • are intrinsically reasonable.
    • do not like to be blamed.
    • have different goals in life.
    • prefer the positive to the negative.
    • share similar fears.

Motivation of People

People are motivated by:

  • Need to control (power motivation)
    • They rebel against a loss of control.
    • Turf issues arise.
  • Need to excel (achievement motivation)
    • People don’t want to look bad in a group.
    • All participants are speaking publicly—public speaking scares many people.
  • Need to bond (affiliation motivation)
    • Attacks and win-lose situations affect participants’ ability or willingness to bond.

Managing the Problem Person

Determine what is motivating a participant you are dealing with. Once you understand their motivation, use the following sequence of guidelines to deal with them.

  • First, determine and correct the cause of the problem person
  • Mitigate the symptom if the cause cannot be corrected by:
    • Ground rules
    • Body position
    • Eye contact
  • Talking with the participant during a break
  • Enlist help from the business partner or executive sponsor.
  • Last resort—have the problem person removed.

When erratic or distracting behavior occurs, prepare to control it. While ‘Ground Rules’ may help contain much of the non-malicious behavior, additional interventions are required for select personality types. The following table lists the characteristics of difficult participants that could cause problem meetings. Each comes with thoughtful and proven suggestions on how to deal with them.

NAME CHARACTERISTICS WHAT TO DO

Attacker

Launches verbal, personal attacks on other group members and/ or facilitator; constantly ridicules a specific point of view. Stand between two people fighting; stop attacks; maybe use additional ground rules 
to control.

Backseat Driver

Keeps telling the session leader or facilitator what to do—or not do; attempts to control the meeting by changing the methodology. Listen to some comments—because they may be good; never turn over control; talk to them during breaks; enforce scope.

Broken Record

Bringing up the same point repeatedly; and constantly trying to focus discussion of this issue; can prevent the group from moving ahead to new items even if ready. The broken record needs to be heard.  Document their input but do not make it an open item until later in the workshop.

Busybody

Ducking in and out of meetings does not ask subordinates to hold calls, and gives the impression of being too busy (and therefore important) to devote full attention to the meeting and the group. Deal with similar to the latecomer or early leaver; try to establish rules to control during preparation. Allow frequent bio-breaks for people to react to their electronic leashes.

Dropout

Constantly engaged with their smartphones or laptop; expresses disapproval or dislike by ignoring the proceedings; may read, or do unrelated paperwork to avoid getting engaged in the session.  Caution, a doodler is not dropping out—they may be a horizontal thinker. Use laser focus so that they know that you see them. During a break, talk to them. Do NOT publicly call out their name and ask for participation.

Encourage your culture to embrace “topless meetings” that prohibit laptops and smart devices.

Early Leaver

Drains the group’s energy and morale by leaving the meeting before its end. Handle similar to a latecomer; do not stop the meeting for one person.

Head Shaker

Actively expresses disapproval through body language and nonverbal cues such as rolling eyes, shaking head, crossing and uncrossing arms, sighing, etc.  Covertly may influence a group to reject an idea. Approach the head shaker. Use open hands to ask them to explain a viable, counter position. Do not allow these nonverbal cues to continue unnoticed.

Interpreter

Always speaks for someone else, usually without an invitation to do so; restates ideas or meanings and frequently distorts it in the process. First, get the original speaker to confirm without embarrassing or putting them on the spot. Then pass the “talking stick” to the interpreter for their own point of view.

Interrupter

Jumps into the discussion and cuts off someone else’s comments; acts impatient, too excited, or concerned that own ideas will not be acknowledged. Stop them immediately to protect the source; always get back to them but do not allow them to interrupt; they will learn.

Know-it-all

Uses credentials, age, seniority, etc., to argue a point; focuses group attention on opinion and status as opposed to the real issue. Often a supervisor or manager; writes it down to satisfy and challenge them about relevancy to the holarchy and for evidence.

Latecomer

Arrives late to meetings, makes a show of arrival, and insists on catching up and stopping the group midstream. Use 50-minute meeting intervals.  Enforce the “Be Here Now” ground rule.  Do not interrupt the meeting.  Review during a break, not during the meeting.

Loudmouth
(Monopolizers)

Talks too often and too loudly; dominates the discussion; seemingly impossible to shut up; maybe someone who has a higher rank than other group members. Record input if on topic. If not, a direct conversation away; stand in front of a person for a short time; talk to them during the break.

Negative Nancy

Voiced skepticism, shrouded with genuine concern. Use the “What—So What—Now What” tool.  They may know something significant. Meet them privately before the meeting.

Quiet Person

While it is true that we are not going to convert quiet people into aggressive extroverts who dominate a meeting, there are steps that facilitators can take to transform the velocity of contributions from quieter participants. 1. Interview your participants

2. Breakout sessions

3. Non-verbal solicitation

4. Reinforce during break

5. Round-robins & Post-it note approaches

Sleeper

Challenged to stay awake, especially during late afternoon sessions. Ideally, open a window.  Practically, walk around them if possible or lead a quick ergonomic break.

Uninvited

Show up without an invitation Explain and enforce the role of Observer, noting they may speak during breaks.

Whisperer

Constantly whispering during meetings, holding offside conversations; upstaging the facilitator or session leader, as well as other group members. Hence, standing close to the whisperer(s) will stop their conversation.  Enforce one conversation at a time with the entire group.

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Don’t ruin your career by hosting bad meetings. Sign up for a workshop or send this to someone who should. MGRUSH workshops focus on meeting design and practice. Each person practices tools, methods, and activities daily during the week. Therefore, while some call this immersion, we call it the road to building high-value facilitation skills.

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