{"id":6973,"date":"2018-01-09T00:05:30","date_gmt":"2018-01-09T05:05:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mgrush.com\/blog\/?p=6973"},"modified":"2026-04-21T13:18:27","modified_gmt":"2026-04-21T17:18:27","slug":"power-of-silence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mgrush.com\/blog\/power-of-silence\/","title":{"rendered":"Want To Be Heard? Stop Talking — The Power of Silence by Karen Snyder"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"TheYou probably don\u2019t believe that silence is one of my favorite tools. Certainly, when I taught a presentation skills<\/a> class to Johns Hopkins graduate students, they did not expect me to talk about silence! But I did.\u00a0And at the end of the week, their final presentations showed how silence can be so effective.<\/h2>\n

When Mariah began her program, we all saw the power of silence take over. She paused. Then she made eye contact<\/a> with her audience. She waited. Only when a room full of curious eyes were focused on her did she begin to speak?<\/span><\/p>\n

We saw it when Kristin began her meeting with a question<\/a> \u2014 neither simplistic nor overly complex \u2014 designed to transform an audience into a group of participants.\u00a0She asked. She waited.\u00a0Sometimes she waited five to eight seconds, and five to eight seconds of silence is longer than you might think!\u00a0It\u2019s very hard to listen to silence.<\/span><\/p>\n

We watched Tad use silence in a marketing brainstorming<\/a> session.\u00a0There was a blizzard of ideas, but when the flurries slowed and then stopped, he didn\u2019t move on. He waited, in silence, for a full 60 seconds.\u00a0The best ideas of the session followed that silence.<\/span><\/p>\n

And I know that skillful negotiators, like my colleague Michael, use silence in their work every day.\u00a0I\u2019ve heard Michael say,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe person who speaks first, loses.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I think he\u2019s right, and how-to books on negotiation concur.<\/span><\/p>\n

I like to use silence in the appreciation segment of a team-building<\/a> session (my favorite part of these workshops!) when colleagues tell one another what they genuinely like about working together. The inevitable lull comes, and everyone looks at me as if to say, \u201cWell, we did it. Can we go home now?\u201d I just smile and wait, knowing that my silence will give them time to appreciate one another in a deeper way.<\/span><\/p>\n

How can you use the power of silence in your work and life?<\/span><\/h4>\n

______<\/span><\/h3>\n

Karen Snyder is an MGRUSH<\/span><\/em> professional facilitation alumni. Having come into our class with quite a bit of coaching experience, she was not only an excellent student but a valuable contributor. Her article on the power of silence reminds us of Dr. Amy Cuddy\u2019s research on \u2018Presence\u2019.\u00a0 Cuddy demonstrates that people answer two questions when they first meet someone:<\/span><\/p>\n

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    \n
  1. Can they TRUST the person?<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Can they RESPECT the person?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    Others may refer to these two dimensions as \u2018warmth\u2019 and \u2018competence\u2019. Cuddy effectively asserts they clearly develop in the sequence shown. Trust always comes before respect.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Silence generates trust when the persona exudes warmth, compassion, alertness, and sincerity.\u00a0 Professionally, however, most believe that competence<\/a> comes first. However, it does not develop until trust is established.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Dr. Max Bazerman claims the most powerful word in negotiations is \u201chuh\u201d \u2014 as in, tell me more.\u00a0 Listening, not speaking, makes you a more powerful negotiator. Likewise, silence can make you appear to be a warmer and more trustworthy person and facilitator.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Terrence Metz, MGRUSH<\/span> Facilitation Training<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

    ______<\/strong><\/span><\/h4>\n

    Don\u2019t ruin your career by hosting bad meetings<\/a>. Sign up for a workshop<\/a> or send this to someone who should. MGRUSH<\/span><\/a><\/em> workshops focus on meeting design and practice. Each person practices tools, methods, and activities daily during the week. Therefore, while some call this immersion, we call it the road to building high-value facilitation skills.<\/span><\/p>\n

    ______<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n

    With Bookmarks no longer a feature in WordPress, we need to append the following for your benefit and reference<\/span><\/p>\n