{"id":5281,"date":"2017-01-19T00:01:45","date_gmt":"2017-01-19T05:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mgrush.com\/blog\/?p=5281"},"modified":"2026-04-21T13:25:32","modified_gmt":"2026-04-21T17:25:32","slug":"addicted-to-being-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mgrush.com\/blog\/addicted-to-being-right\/","title":{"rendered":"Addicted to Being Right: 4 Participant Responses to Avoid Being Wrong"},"content":{"rendered":"

Most people associate shame or loss of power with being wrong. Ever felt yourself getting defensive? <\/strong>When your meeting participants turn defensive, especially when they feel they are losing ground, neurochemistry hijacks the brain. Because they are addicted to being right,<\/em> the amygdala, our instinctive brain, takes over.\u00a0 With a focus on being right,<\/em> participants are unable to regulate emotions or handle the gaps between expectations and reality.<\/h2>\n

\u201cIn situations of high stress, fear, or distrust the hormone and neurotransmitter cortisol flood the brain. \u00a0Executive functions that help us with advanced thought processes like strategy, trust building, and compassion shut down.\u201d[1]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Scientific studies suggest four responses that every facilitator should expect from\u00a0meeting participants, namely:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Fight (keep arguing the point),<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Flight (revert to, and hide behind, group consensus),<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Freeze (disengage from the argument by shutting up)<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Appease (make nice to your adversary by simply agreeing with him)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Addicted to Being Right: Restoring Balance<\/h3>\n
    \"Addicted<\/a>

    Addicted To Being Right Requires a Facilitator to Restore Balance<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

    Without facilitation (especially active listening and challenge), the four responses lead to sub-optimal results because they prevent the honest and productive sharing of information and evidence-based proof.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Some suggest that \u201cFighting\u201d is the most common and most damaging. Can you imagine a professional fight without a referee?\u00a0 Of course not, and the facilitator is the meeting referee.\u00a0 In humans, bio-chemicals drive the urge for \u201cfighting\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \u201cWhen you argue and win, your brain floods with different hormones: adrenaline and dopamine, which makes you feel good, dominant, even invincible. It’s the feeling any of us would want to replicate. So the next time we’re in a tense situation, we fight again. We get addicted to being right.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    When these dominating personalities are allowed to take over a meeting, they become unaware of the impact on the people around them. While they are getting high from their dominance, others are being drummed into submission. Group dynamics undergo a strong diminishing of collaboration.<\/span><\/p>\n

    However, oxytocin can make people feel as good as adrenaline. Oxytocin activates connections and opens up the networks in our brains, driving from the prefrontal cortex. When participants feel connected, they open up to sharing and trust.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Addicted to Being Right:\u00a0Facilitator Tips<\/h3>\n

    Great facilitators seek to amplify the production of oxytocin while striving to avoid spikes of cortisol and adrenaline. Help others who display addiction to being right by embracing some or all of the following suggestions:<\/span><\/p>\n